i want to know about your day and everything that happened
listening to your calming voice makes me feel warm
.
so many things happened while you’re not here, i want to explain to you all the details
i want to tell you everything i did through out the day
a relationship where you decide to put in your own effort and not because someone else asked you to
.
now it’s sounds like you don’t really care
it doesn’t matter if i got stared at by some old man
it doesn’t matter if i got drunk or vomit
it’s like you don’t even bother why i’m drinking and sleeping so late everyday
..
I want to tell you why am I like this but it sounds like you’re so unbothered
It makes me want to keep things to myself again
You’re busy talking to your friends while you’re on the phone with me
it hurts me that you didn’t even stop and talk to me
…
I wanted to see if things changed or can work out during this one week
but it seems like nothing changed
…
i love you so much but im so tired
im tired being the only one putting effort, having false hope and believing everything will get better
im tired. I really threw out every single energy I have into our relationship
im tired that no one knows i hurting everyday every moment
im sad that you couldn’t see the amount of love and effort i put into our relationship
…
i couldn’t eat properly everyday
i couldn’t fall asleep anymore,overthinking
i go out to drink, that seems like the only way to stay happy
i vomit my food if i eat
i start to tear up thinking about you
….
i don’t think i can hold on any longer
i’m going to be done with all of this
i’m so tired of everything
i love you so deeply
oh no 